Stephanie Insanity
Things get crazy up in here...I think I am pretty funny. I love to sing. I am a physical therapy grad student.
I'm alternately stressed, crazed, excited, ecstatic, laughing, crying, shouting, impersonating and generally being a little bit nuts... but only in the best ways, of course.
Come along for the ride?
Remember that one time a car ran you down in a crosswalk?
No? Oh right because that was me actually…
Ugh. Talk about an awful week. I mean, technically I wasn’t “run down” but I was definitely hit, knocked over, bumped, bruised, injured, tearful and carted away on a backboard in an ambulance. I’ve been attempting to heal, while simultaneously panicking about being behind in school and bawling my eyes out about the lady’s insurance not believing my story and threatening to not pay my medical bills.
The driver says that I “just ran into the street and slammed into my car as I was sitting at the stop sign.”
Yep. Apparently I like to just launch myself at non-moving vehicles for fun. Although I am still unable to figure out how running straight into the side of and SUV caused me injuries that looked like the right side of my body was pummeled by a sledgehammer.
So, yes, I guess I was sprinting sideways into the streets. Really-effing-fast. I mean, how fast must a person run in order to bruise her own bones?? Trust me, I can’t run that fast. I can’t even do the 10min week on Couch-2-5K yet. Eeesh.
Bruised ribs, bruised intercostal muscles (the muscles in between your ribs that help you breathe), bruised shoulder, elbow and generalized feelings of pain and ache.
I cannot explain how awful bruised/fractured ribs are. Every breath, yawn, cough, sneeze, gasp, laugh, nose-blowing… it all makes me feel like my side is going to either explode from pain or possibly just cave in and die. Ok, so it is getting somewhat better… but not nearly fast enough and I am learning to ignore it as well, otherwise I lie in bed and cry all day.
Usually, this is what I would continue to do. Instead, with the help and encouragement of my family, my fab roommates and all my classmates, I lawyered up and I am getting this shit taken care of. I am no one’s doormat. Not this time. I’ve got proof you hit me lady, and the proof is in the bruises. Deal with it.
PS- I would be in much worse shape if my roomsie CK hadn’t answered her phone, rushed to my side and sat in the ER with me for 6+ hours as I moaned, cried and said weird shit on morphine. I also probably would have been a lot sadder and in more pain if JD and TM hadn’t come to the ER and sat in the waiting room all night just sending positive vibes my way as they chatted about food all night. (That’s what they said they did! How would I know, I was on drugs. Legal drugs, people.)
Thanks, I love you guys.
Child of Destiny
I really can’t say it better than this… so I’ll just let Sara say it for me. And congrats to Bey and Jay.
today i felt a little bogged down. life is really hard work, you guys. i am physically exhausted from keeping my mind busy and actively pushing away negativity.
but you know what’s really helping me right now? listening to jay-z’s song for his baby girl on repeat. i want to be this baby.
S o there you have it, shit happens
Make sure the plane you on is bigger
Than your carry-on baggage
Everybody go through stuff
Life is a gift love, open it up
You’re a child of destiny
Banana Yoshimoto, Goodbye Tsugumi
Pain
Too much, not enough, drowning, suffocating, screaming, flailing.
Everything is not what I thought it would be. Nothing is what everything feels like. I don’t want to be so far into the dark. This is where I go when the loneliness overwhelms. It’s been so long. So very long. Sometimes, I think “well, you’ve had your chance.” And if that is true… well that’s the most depressing thought of all.
I’m not a quitter though. I’m going to fight this. I’m going to look for my joy, my happy, my breath of air. I’ve been down this rabbit hole for too long. And I’m sick of it.
Actions speak louder than words
You can SAY that I’m important all you want…
But you show me that I’m not with every passing day.
I’m getting the message.
