super clingy, super creepy guys all of a sudden? I have met a few more than usual lately and it’s too much. Way too much.
I don’t care where I met you. Online, at the bar, at the grocery store… it’s all the same to me. A nice chat, some good conversation, maybe some flirting and arm touching if the situation allows. It’s all pretty standard. The exchange of phone numbers, and hopefully some fun and flirty texting or some e-mailing over the next few days. Not much, just a couple exchanges a day maybe. A possible date set in a week or so…
Is this not how it works anymore?? I am horrified at these men I’ve met recently. They are so. damn. pushy! I have a life. I am busy. For-real busy. And I know a lot of people are, but from my perspective, my life is really full right now. I am in a highly competitive, high stress graduate program in a health-care field. It runs my life, for the most part. I’m not exaggerating… but that’s another rant.
I am open and honest from the start about where I’m at right now, what I am looking for and what my schedule allows me to put into dating. Which is not much, and runs somewhere between “casual is your only option, dude” and “fun only please!” And no, I’m not speaking strictly sex. jeez people…
And for all this I get:
It’s difficult to articulate everything we mean sometimes. Actually, most of the time is probably more like it. Sometimes I have so many feelings and they just don’t all make sense. They contradict one another and jumble together until I don’t really know what the hell is going on inside my head.
I told the boy I liked him. In reality, this is a lie. I did the best I could at letting him know. It was probably awkward for him. And it was textual. How very immature of me. Although every time I tried out verbal ways to tell him, they sounded like lines from a teenage movie script. So I caved. And was drunk. And with my giant cloak of liquid courage, I told him that he could “make it up to me by taking me on a date sometime… ;)” …yeah… ugh…
There was no response. Which could mean a number of things. Maybe he is confused by it. Maybe he doesn’t know what to say, or is nervous, or is just beginning to think about me in a different way now that he knows of my affections. Or, maybe, he just isn’t into me.
Ouch. So painful. But honest, and really important to remember. A little rejection never killed anyone. Well, it shouldn’t anyways. I should just be thankful that I took a step forward. I have trouble putting myself out there. I’ve been hurt and I can still feel the scars. So this little, minuscule text is actually a big, huge, freaking deal to me. Obviously, I’m not going to act that way. But inside… I’m a hot mess.
“Nervous and anxious, it really counts this time.” Thanks Trio- I like your lyrical style.
